How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
