Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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