Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
