Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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