just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
