i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
