woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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