Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
