Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
In America we eat man semen.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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