I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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