exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
