i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
