so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
