i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
