I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
