I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
