I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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