She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
