i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
