paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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