tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
