I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
