Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize