can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
