No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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