me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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