Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
