just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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