john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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