We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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