i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
