real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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