Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
