I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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