can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
