she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize