the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
