Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
