i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
