I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
