I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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