There is no way he is gay with that hair.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
