Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
do nipples grow back?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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