i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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