if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
