the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
