Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
