oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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