$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
