One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize