I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize