Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
