I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Randomize
