Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
false alarm. still invincible.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
