No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
