was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
