The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize