one two three fourrrrnication!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we made out on top of his cat.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
