Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
